It could be Hazardous to your Ears to have a Nurse as a Friend

Just ask Emily. She was the victim of a visual that only a nurse can paint. Kevin learned very early on in our marriage that if I ever said "Guess what happened at work today?", he would halt the conversation right then and there. He has learned that if the conversation starts drifting into nursing territory, that I get the eye that means "Please don't say another word." Too bad for Emily she doesn't know this yet, even though she should have had a clue when I told her that story about Lisa Long from college, when she and I were running the marathon, and I told her about when Lisa had some sputum in her throat and mistakenly said that she had some scrotum in her throat (bet you can't have a little tickle in your throat and not think about that). So, when she got on the subject of her "lady" issues and I inquired about the physicality of her husband as it related to her, which, of course, to me, opens the door for talking about, you know, the "shar pei" look. I had to spell it out for her, because, despite the fact that I was attempting to be delicate, she just wasn't getting it (if you are not getting it either, please, let me know. There are certain words that I don't want to put on the blog). I also used the analogy of a man trying to put a turtleneck on. I think this sent her over the edge. Little does she know that I have A LOT more up my sleeve. Imagine if I worked in the ER. That is like a gold mine for party stories, all of which are told with complete anonymity for HIPPA reasons. I haven't even told her about the man with the elephantitis issue.