I got an angry text today. HOW COME YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR TRIP TO FLORIDA? That was from my dearest, most favorite, sweetest sister in law, Julie. Okay, only the first two adjectives were true. She may be little, but don't, I repeat DON'T, mess with her. She messed up some chick in a mosh pit a few years back and now, from what I hear, the girl walks with a limp. So, even though she is across the country, she still scares me, so I will now relive my vacay.
After a lovely airplane ride, highlighted by the fact that I was able to avoid any poop on me during the flight (that one was not fun, but is now a fun story to tell the person sitting next to you about what could have happened to them), I got off the plane in Orlando and felt like I had just walked in to someone's armpit. I have been to Orlando several times before, but this time it seemed especially damp. It is such an odd feeling not dragging anyone through the airport, or telling someone not to touch anything, or to get off the baggage carousel. So, instead, I enjoyed watching other parents do the same. My dear SIL picked me up and blah, blah, blah, we made it home, and there was my reason for being. There. Sophia Valentine. She looks just like her momma. So cute and little. I knew I was her favorite the moment I laid eyes on her.
We went to Riley (my namesake) and Caitlin's chorus concert. I kept telling my bro and SIL that these were not the songs/ actions that would go on where I live. Could it be because the area here is 98% white? Maybe. But they had a whole lotta Southern going on. Also, when I got out of the car, Julie yelled at Nick (the dear nephew) to help Aunt Kim not get bit by fire ants. Did I suddenly become a helpless auntie? I told them I could fend for myself and then ran as fast as I could until I hit cement. We had a lovely dinner afterwards, sponsored by my wonderful Dad (a.k.a. Daddy Warbucks). I was working that night and since Florida is three hours ahead of AZ, which meant that I would be up until about 2 am FL time, I got a hotel room. Again, it was a little odd being somewhere alone, not having to put anyone to bed and getting to watch WHATEVER I wanted to . Crazy. Check out time was at 11 am, and Lauren and I were scheduled to go shopping (we had to be sneaky and not let Riley know that we were going without her-she was in school), so she was going to come get me when I checked out. Imagine my surprise/horror/disbelief when I woke up at 10:45! That's 7:45 AZ time. I ran around trying to get my stuff together, then I called down to the front desk and said I wasn't going to make the checkout time. No problem, I had until 12pm.
Shopping was great. We hung out that night and watched Riley do her poi lights. I showed her my signature move. Spin them and don't get hit in the face. Like most Gillette trips that I have had there, there was one song in particular that was the theme. This trip it was "Low" by (of course) Flo-Rida.
The next day, Julie and I went to the gym. Good workout. Then we went to a birthday party that pretty much lasted all day. Lots of fun was had by all. I got in trouble that night, though, for holding Sophia too long when her daddy came home and had not held her yet. Can you blame me? But that little naughty girl, every time I turned around, she was leaving her new clothes on my bed. I told her she better keep track of her things.
Sunday, the girls and I went to Florida church, which is a lot like AZ church. We went to the mall to go to the movies with the family. Julie made a lovely dinner that was enjoyed by all. I made sure their children knew how lucky they were to have such a domesticated mom, because if they didn't, they might be subjected to frozen lasagna. Riley was horrified to hear that such a thing was possible. What a sheltered life she has led.
To sum up: it WAS a vacation....from responsibility. I enjoyed my time with my family immensely, even my brother, Matt, who did make one extremely rude comment about my fat #@!. I would have run crying to my room if this was twenty years ago, but now I knew he meant it as a term of endearment. I highly recommend this journey for anyone looking to escape, but you will never catch me living anywhere near Julie. There is no way that I can have my house as neat as hers with all those people and then grout the shower while entertaining. And I did get the best "nick"name ever (Nick gave it to me)/ I am now known as Fantastic Aunt Kim. Love it. And them. Especially Sophia.
P.S. This wasn't part of the fun, so I want it to be separate, however, it is still notable. On the flight back, I sat next to a grumpy, humorless man. I could tell before he even sat down. Flying makes me sleepy (how do the pilots stay awake), so, with no responsibilities, I dozed off. I was awakened to something cold and wet on my leg. It was ICE CUBES. Apparently, Grumpy had spilled his ice on me in my lap and it was a "conundrum" for him as to what he should do. That was what he had to say for himself. I brushed the ice off and went back to sleep. Maybe I should have brought Blake to poop on him after all.