Jagged Little Pill

As summer was winding down, we planned a getaway to San Diego.  It was going to be our last hurrah before school started, a chance to tour the naval base with Kevin's brother Adam, Legoland, Sea World, the beach.....instead, this is what happened.
I picked up Chloe from the airport who was visiting her grandparents in Kentucky when the unfortunate incident happened.  This is how the story was recounted to me.  Kevin, who enjoys working out and taking supplements, was swallowing an Amino Acid pill, which is about an inch long, when it got lodged in his throat.  He tried to dislodge it by forcefully retching.  This alarmed Blake and he came in the kitchen to assist Kevin.  Dillan and Olivia was too engrossed in America's Got Talent to be concerned.  Kevin says that it eventually passed, and he even congratulated himself on not throwing up any of the food he had just eaten.  I was mildly concerned as well, after all, the situation seemed to have resolved itself.
The next morning, Kevin was still in bed and said that he couldn't get comfortable, was weak and dizzy, and didn't sleep the night before.  He said that he felt like he had the flu.  I said that we would wait to leave for San Diego, as we were scheduled to leave that day.  He said we could still go, just put him in the back of the Suburban,  I declined, mostly because I don't like to drive with him. He is a much better driver than I, so I feel self conscious when I drive with him.  I checked his blood pressure which was low and his heart rate which was high, which was not normal for him at all.  I told him that he was dehydrated and that he needed to drink fluids.  He may have during the day, I don't know, because I left to take Dillan school shopping.  I wasn't that concerned with my patient after all.  I checked on him again in the afternoon and things were the same, so I took Olivia to her two hour gymnastics class.  When I came home from that and put people to bed, and got myself ready for bed, finally relieved that the day was done, Kevin told me that when he got up to go to the bathroom he felt very weak and dizzy, like he was going to pass out.  For those of you who don't know Kevin's stats, he's 6'4" and 225 lbs.  I did not want him passing out on me because I could not pick him up.  And then he tells me he had tarry stools, aka black poop.  Slight pause from me.  Dear, that means you're going to the hospital.  His response:  Maybe it's nothing.  Maybe I'll see if I'm still feeling bad and then I'll go to the doctor tomorrow.  Again, pause for emphasis.  No, we're going now (a little irritated that he didn't mention this BEFORE I took my makeup off).  He was resistant to heading to the ER because earlier this year he had to go in because he dropped a 225 lb barbell that he was bench pressing as his warm up, when it slipped and fell on his chest.  I made him go in to the ER then because I didn't want anything to be damaged in there and have it slowly leaking and then I wake up in the morning and him not.  It turned out to be a cracked sternum, which you can't do anything about except wait.  He wasn't very patient with letting it heal and returned to the gym.  So I gathered him up to go to the ER.  I called Dillan in for reinforcement.  Actually, I wanted him to break his dad's fall should he indeed pass out on us. 
We made it to the ER, where he was promptly checked in.  After all of the tests, etc, he was admitted to the hospital to have an endoscopy in the morning.  I went home to get some rest and was told that the endoscopy clinic opened at 7 am, so he would be seen sometime after that.  I made it back to the hospital just in time as they were taking him to the clinic and he was getting his first transfusion of blood.  He was looking pale.  The anesthesiologist came in told him the concoction that he would be getting was Versed and Propofol.  I told him that Propofol was what Michael Jackson used to help him "sleep" until he took his last sleep.  RIP King of Pop. After he was done, the doctor came and found me and told me the results.  Kevin had torn his esophagus. What?!  The doctor went on to explain that he had made a large tear and there was a very large blood clot around it preventing him from closing the tear, so he was going to admit him to the ICU for close monitoring and IV drips to stop the bleeding and more transfusions.  What?!  I was a little shocked, but being the "seasoned" nurse that I am didn't show it.  That was until the kids called me two minutes later to ask what was going on and there was a scuffle in the background.  I started to cry because it was a lot of overwhelming.  I pulled it together and found Kevin.  He was snoring loudly.  His nurse, as nurses are supposed to do, kept bugging him to wake up.  After he cracked his eyes open a little bit.  I told him that #1 He had survived and #2 He was getting admitted to the ICU.  He fell back asleep.  He woke up again two minutes later.  I told him that #1 He had survived and #2 He was getting admitted to the ICU.  He fell back asleep.  He woke up again two minutes later.  I decided to save my breath and told him that he was getting admitted to the ICU.  He said "That's good.  Here, help me off this gurney so I can walk up there."  I told him that NO ONE walks IN to the ICU.  He said he was fine.  I reminded him where he was going.  I told him to take advantage of someone pushing him in a bed.  We made it to the ICU, where I was reminded how bossy the nurses are there.  I was immediately asked to leave so they could get him settled.  I was let back in about five minutes later.  He had to get up to go to the bathroom almost immediately.  The nurse tried to tell him he couldn't walk that far (ten feet) and that she could get him a bedside commode.  He said he wasn't an old man and that he could walk to the bathroom.  This went on back and forth for a few minutes.  I knew he would not concede, so I took the initiative to help him get up with all his tubing and wires to the bathroom.  Walking ten feet to the bathroom sounds like an easy task. Maybe even if you have an IV in your arm.  But this large strapping young man, losing blood internally, and refusing to believe that he was sick was not easy to get to the bathroom, but by the end of our stay, I think I perfected our orchestrated dance.  But when he got back to bed, he was so dizzy and short of breath that it was scary.  And he was still expelling blood.  He apologized to the nurses for the stink.  And for those of you have smelled that stink, it is more horrid that words can describe.  When I worked in the Burn Unit and we would have overflow patients from the Medical ICU, we dreaded the GI Bleed because of that stink.  And we were the nurses that had patients getting escarotomies which is basically burning already burned flesh.   Sorry if you were eating your breakfast when you were reading this.  Kevin described his trips to the bathroom as the Valdez Oil Spill.  Again, I apologize to those eating.  He ended up needing three IVs in his arms for the medication and the blood transfusions, for which he received seven.  By the end, I told him he needed to stop being lazy and relying on the altruistic efforts of others and make his own blood.  Our home teachers came in and gave him a blessing and my dear friend called me out of the blue to find out what was going on, only to discover that I was sitting in the ICU with Kevin.  She got our kids dinner.  She was listening to the Spirit's promptings that I needed help! 
At this time I went home to get a little sleep and catch up with what was happening.  I Googled what was going on with him.  Probably not a good idea, since I read that the mortality rate is 50%.  Needless to say, I did not sleep well.
The next day, the doctor was able to go in again with an endoscope, but this time he was able to repair the tear.  But Kevin was still very pale and still getting blood transfusions.  And he was still not able to eat.  He had not had anything to eat or drink since he got to the ER.  He tried SO HARD to get anyone to give him something to drink or an ice chip or Gatorade or Sprite.  He kept asking for Sprite despite me reminding him how important it was that he not eat because his tummy was very, very sick.  He asked every doctor, every nurse, every tech, every friend.  He is a bad sick person.  Finally, the doctor said ice chips and gum.  Sharon had come to see him and was deeply worried, so when she heard that, she went to the gift shop and bought him every kind of gum they had.  I think it was a moment full of joy for Kevin. 
He was out of the ICU that evening and then home the next day.  He wanted to resume his normal activities really bad, but since his blood levels were still really low (he was still down about 3 units of blood), he got weak and tired fast.  Plus the heat here doesn't help.I could barely stand to look at him for the first few days after he got out of the hospital because he was so pale.  I said he was Fifty Shades of White and Pale Face.  I told him that this would be the only time in our marriage that I would be darker than him.  The next day after he got out of the hospital was Olivia's birthday.  He had searched for a bike for Olivia and he went and got it, despite not getting clearance from me to drive.  She didn't get her traditional birthday dinner at a restaurant, but fortunately she had her baptism party that more than made up for it. 
So, we were anxious to see what the bill was.  I could have gotten a brand new BMW i3.  I would much rather have an alive husband.  I told him that's all I wanted for my birthday, which is the day after Olivia's.  I just wanted him alive and not dead.  I don't think it's too much to ask.  It helped me to remember how much I need him on a daily basis and how grateful I am to be married to him and have him here with me. 

Show Girls

 

There has been a "Vacancy" sign flashing outside our chicken coop for about nine months.  That was when the crazy tortoise "Curiosity" was living there.  He dug a ten foot hole underneath the palm tree that was on the side of the coop.  I thought about making Turtle Soup, but restrained myself and he was sent to a good family in Gilbert that had another tortoise.  So, when a sister in our ward offered a couple of chickens, at first both Kevin and I were a little leery.  After all, the last chickens we had, which were Delaware Whites, were not very kind.  They pecked at each other and ganged up on one of the chickens and then would lay their eggs on the counter outside the kitchen window, only to scoot them off and let them fall on the ground.  That is not a fun scene to clean up after birds that you are not enjoying.  We picked up the chickens, which she told us were Spanish Minorcas (pictured above) which are supposed to do well in the heat.  We've got the heat part down pat.  They are black and when the suns shines on them, their feathers have a greenish hue to them.  It's very cool.  Plus they are NICE chickens.  They don't peck at each other (there are only two right now) aren't crazed and lay their eggs in a dignified manner in the coop.  I wanted more information, so of course, I googled Spanish Minorca Chickens.  I was not expecting what I found.  I thought that all chickens were alike and had just one job: lay eggs.  Well, two jobs really, but the second job is a career killer. But when I read that these chickens were bred to be "show chickens", I almost fell out of my seat!  My first thought was "They need to have proper show girl names."  So I named them after my two favorite Broadway show girls:  Liza Minnelli and Nathan Lane.  Then I realized, these girls were competition birds, meaning I could take them to County Fairs and show them!  Who knew there would be another outlet to compete in?  Oh baby.  These girls are getting the star treatment.

Love/Hate Relationship

I have a few "Love/Hate" relationships, which I am about to divulge for the whole world to know about.  Or at least my sister, Jen, who said that she was sick of seeing "First Chair" as my last blog entry. 
The first one is........Costco.  This may come as a surprise to some who think that it is my third greatest love (Kevin being number one, children being number two-I won't tell you which one would be number one in that group), but as much as I love shopping at Costco, I detest the feeling of panic that overcomes me when I see some new fantastic offering they have, only to wonder:  How long will this last?  For instance, last December "our" Costco finally got heavy whipping cream!!  I was so excited, because I had seen it at my mom's Costco in Utah, but never here in a non-Utah Costco, where we are limited in the good stuff that we get due to the amount of alcohol that takes up valuable product display space.  So, I was thrilled.  I told my friends.  I told my family.  And then, just two weeks after its arrival I noticed the dreaded *.  Meaning that it's days were numbered and that it would not be staying for long.  WE JUST GOT IT!!!! How could Costco be so cruel as to taunt me with what they had, only to let it disappear so quickly?  The final blow came when they reduced the price to $3.97 for the half gallon.  I bought four and froze them. 
A different, but equally as devastating event happened with the Pumpkin Streusel Muffin.  Fall heaven.  It was only offered during the fall of 2009, which I can understand that it is a seasonal item, but then comes the fall of 2010.  I waited.  I checked the muffin display.  No Pumpkin Streusel Muffins.  The pumpkin pie was out, why no muffins?  I seethed because I had waited through a miserable summer waiting for the first sign of fall:  the muffins.  Then to my sheer and utter delight, they were back for the fall of 2011!!  I stocked up because who know what will happen?  They are gone from my freezer, by the way.  I can't resist.
The other thing that drives me crazy about Costco is the books.  The books!!  I could get lost in all of those books and it is so hard for me to not pick one up to read because it's right there.  It looks so good.  I have no will power when it comes to  a book in my hot little hand.
Which brings me to my next love/ hate relationship:  Good books.  How can one hate a good book?  I will tell you.  It brings my life to an utter stand still.  I am paralyzed because all I want to do is finish this really good book, and then I don't want it to end because it's so good, so then I have to find another good book and then I can't do anything because all I want to do is finish this really good book and then it ends, and I am sad because I have to find another good book to read..........It is a very vicious cycle.  One may think that getting a bad book would break this cycle, but au contraire, it only strengthens my desire to find a good book to read to wash out the bad book out of my brain.  And, yes I am in the vicious cycle right now.  It started when I was casually talking to a nurse that I work with and he asked me if I knew anything about Chicago, and I said "Everything I know about Chicago, I read in the book The Devil in the White City."  Which got us to talking about the author Erik Larson, and how he had written other books, and that I had read In the Garden of Beasts, that this other nurse hadn't, but he had read two of his other books, Thunderstruck, which I have since read, and Isaac's Storm, which I am halfway through (it is about the Galveston hurricane of 1900.  If you've read it, DON'T SPOIL IT.  I want to find out if the storm does any major damage).  And, I already have my next book after that picked out Empire of the Summer Moon.  I can't stop.  I feel like an addict.  My two older children have the same curse.  I will never forget when I was talking to Dillan's 6th grade teacher and was telling her about a book that I stayed up until 2 am to finish, and Dillan's eyes grew so wide realizing that one could stay up that late to read.  I told him that it was still forbidden for him.  The best thing about this obsession is that I am able to multitask with it now.  I run on the treadmill and read my Kindle. 
I have a love/hate relationship with Kevin too.  I love him.  But I HATE that he scares me.  All of the time!!  If he walks into a room, I am startled.  If he comes up behind me when I am not aware and starts talking, I'm likely to shriek.  And he has passed this trait onto our boys.  The other day I was drawing Blake's bath, and was leaning over the tub, when Blake starts talking right behind me.  I did shriek that time.  Dillan noted it and thought it was awesome.  Boys. 
If you have a love/hate relationship that you would like to share, please do it.

First Chair

Dillan started taking violin lessons when he was seven years old, which I was supposed to be a participant in his practices.  If you have read "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" that's me but dialed down about 90%.  He's enjoyed playing the violin, even after he stopped taking lessons and has been performing with the middle school's orchestra.  I can't tell if he's in the orchestra because he enjoys the violin or if he enjoys the ratio of girls to boys in the orchestra.  There is definitely a social aspect of it that he likes. 

So the District Honors Orchestra was coming up and Dillan told me that he was going to be first chair.  I said "That's great" and then probably asked him if his homework was done or if he had any chores left to do.  My parents were visiting so Kevin and I could go on a romantic weekend getaway (really, they came down to see Wicked, but I took advantage of them while they were here.  AND it really WAS a romantic getaway, not an endurance event like a Grand Canyon rim to rim to rim hike!) so I took them with me to the performance.  As always, one of the directors gives a speech that we are not at a sporting event and that there will not be any hooping or hollering for the performances, and that we are all to act in a dignified manner.  Who do they think comes to these things?  Crazed mothers?  So, when it was time for the middle school orchestra to get the seats on the stage, I was looking for Dillan, who, let's face it, is not hard to miss.  I could not see him.  I thought, maybe he's in the back, but even then I would be able to see his head poking up.  There was only the empty chair in the front saved for the first chair violinist.  Well, you can imagine my overjoy when my boy walked on stage as the FIRST CHAIR VIOLINIST!!!!  The emotion overtook me.  I hooped so loud that my mom grabbed my arm and said "You are NOT at a football game!"  That's my baby!  I have held back at many of his performances where I knew what he was going to do, but this I did not know about and was pure joy!  He got a solo part in one of the pieces that he played.  The only thing that made me sad was that his violin teacher, who had a daughter in the high school orchestra, was not able to be there.  She is the reason why he loves the violin so much and is such an excellent player.  It gave me hope that I may be able to get Blake to that point one day. 

Kevin to the Rescue

This is a common theme with Kevin.  When we lived in Utah, he would carry a tow chain in the truck during the winter in the hopes that he could rescue someone stuck in the snow.  So this evening, he and I went to Costco in preparation for my parents coming to town, when we pulled into our parking spot and there was a two year old boy on the top of a roof of a car, just enough out of reach from his very short and very pregnant mom trying to wrangle him off the roof.  There was a woman "helping", but she was on her cell phone and talking to someone and trying to reach for the boy, who was out of her reach as well.  Kevin walked over, and fortunately the ladies had the boy facing them, and Kevin took the boy off guard and just lifted him on the roof and put him in his car seat.  He was touted as a hero through all of Costco.  Little did they know that this is second nature to him.  One of the many reasons I love him.  That and he writes the best love poems.

Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Kevin's Door

I love my husband.  Even better, I love that I married a husband that has such a great name to put in place of "heaven" in songs, such as "Knock, knock, knockin' on Kevin's door" by Guns 'N Roses or the LDS favorite "Where is Kevin?  Is he very far?" or "Just Like Kevin" by the Cure.  I think of how boring my life would have been if I had married a Steve or a Bob, altough I'm sure I would find a way to incorporate their names into songs, but it's so fun having a husband who's name rhymes with a great place to be.  So it was my sheer delight when Olivia said that we needed to change a verse in "Joy to the World".  She said "Instead of 'Let heaven and nature sing', we need to sing 'Let Kevin do his thing.'"  I loved it!!  But the sad part was that we didn't sing it on church on Sunday.  Olivia and I were rready to belt that one out.  Oh well.  There's always next year. 
There are two other songs that I believe were made specifically for my niece and nephew.  The first is "No One" by Alicia Keys.  How can you not sing "No-Ah, No-ah, No-ah" when you have a handsome nephew named Noah, especially when he's in the car with you?  And when you have a niece named Oana, how can you sing Rihanna's "What's My Name?'  without saying "Oana, what's my name?" She's a little diva too, that Oana.  I love them. 
Of course, my husband's name is not the only reason why I love him, but it certainly makes it more fun.

Comments

I know it may seem like no one reads my blog because #1 Lack of Followers and #2 Lack of Comments.  It really doesn't matter to me if no one follows my blog, since the reason why I blog is so my mom has something to print and put in her binder marked "Kim's Blog" that she can easily grab if there is ever a fire in their house, and run out and proclaim to all of the neighbors that she saved it, and then they can cheer, until they realize that it was just my blog that she saved an nothing really valuable.  I do have followers that through no fault of their own, have no idea how to publicly follow me.  I am no technology expert, so I can not say "It's so easy!  All you have to do is put this in, and then put it on your thingamadoodle, and there you have it!"  I barely know how to follow other people's blogs, and even at that, I don't really follow them, but occasionally read them, and if I have a witty comment, THEN I will leave a comment.  But I do have comments, mostly from the recent blog that I posted titled "Mom's Awesome" that I want to share.
The first comes from my oldest sister, Jen.  She sent this out to the whole dadgum family
:No this is NOT a harassment (yet) to get in your December news. It is a shout out to our wonderful sister Kim who is an amazingly talented writer (I think you missed your calling in life, or rather you have more than one calling). I am an avid follower of her blog--even though I am not accredited as a follower because I can't figure out how to do it. I can always count on a good giggle when I read it. She wrote a most wonderful blog about Mom. I say "Ditto". If I was as talented of a writer I would say all those wonderful things and more. I had fun being with mom and dad for just a few days this month and all I can say is we are very blessed to have them as parents, friends and examples. I hope they have have a great time on their adventure this month and look forward to seeing where the Lord will have them serve a mission. In case you have never read Kim's blog you can find it on www.kimmicakes.blogspot.com and I highly recommend putting it as a favorite and checking it often. (Although it was quite a while in between the last posts--must be because she was working on getting that #1 mom status
That sparked others to read it, meaning my mom.  Here's what she said:

It is nice to know that you have my funeral talk written. Don't lose it. It will save you time many years down the road when you are asked to speak. All I can say is that I am grateful that you are getting older and only remember good things. Fortunately we painted over the writing inside the bedroom closet "I hate mom and dad" written during the angst of teenage years. Probably after we'd cleaned your room and thrown out AAAbras.

Love you and am looking forward to our February trip and event. Love Mom

Well, I never said my mom was known for her honesty, as I have NEVER had a AAA bra. 

My sister, Nikki, also made a comment in the family newsletter:

I also ditto Kim's ode to Mom.  Now she just needs to write one about dad. 

Okay, Nikki, that one is done.  Check http://kimmicakes.blogspot.com/2010/06/happy-fathers-day.html. 

Thanks to those of you who read this silly little blog.  I hope that you leave with a deeper sense of peace, refreshment, and wisdom.  Who am I kidding?  Refreshment? 

Reply to:

Reply to perryandlinda8@comcast.net