#1 Mom

For the second year in a row, I have been crowned #1 Mom!  And this year it was a different daughter that gave me the title, so it must really be true., although last year I was World's Greatest Mom and this year it's just #1 Mom, so I guess that could mean #1 Mom in the USA or #1 Mom in Phoenix or #1 Mom that lives in our house.  It's not easy being #1.  I have a lot of competition out there who have been vying for #1 status as well, and it's difficult to quantify how one wins the coveted #1 Mom title.  Is it the number of crafts one does?  If that's the case, I should be #19, 388 Mom since I don't craft.  Is it the tidiest, most organized home?  That obviously cannot be one of the criteria.  Is it the calmest, most even tempered one?  I've lost it there too.  Literally.  So I guess the only way one gets this title is by being the #1 Mom for the child(ren) that she has.  But here's the bonus this year.  I was told by Chloe that ALL her friends think that I am the coolest mom.  Of course, I probed for names.  Who exactly thought that I was cool, because they were in for a big treat.  She gave two names of her best friends and I knew I had done my job right.  Because not only am I #1 Mom and Cool Mom, but I have been told by all my children that I am Mean Mom.  I am the mom equivalent of Secretariat.  I have won the Triple Crown.  And I don't know if any other horse in history has gotten a title in another division, say, in dog racing, but I have been given two other notable titles: Fantastic Aunt (instead of Great Aunt because I have a great niece and great aunt sounds like Great Aunt Ethel who was o-o-old) and Fun Aunt, because I dance around like crazy with my nieces.  I have to work on either Blake or Dillan to get another #1 Mom pen for Christmas this coming year.  Since Dillan has less time to be at home and has the ability to read and make a purchase of that sort, I will work on him.  So if he asks next Christmas what he should get me, you have your suggestion ready.