A Noncompetitive Marathon?!?!

So, I'm sitting here hard at work (which for me means sitting on my bed and watching Dancing with the Stars-I can't believe I get paid for this!), and I thought I would blog about how I have been tricked by my dear friend, Emily. It all started when she asked me if I wanted to run the Rock N' Roll Marathon this coming January. I hesitated to say yes, because, although I want to run a marathon, this one is on the Sabbath, which most are, and I told her as much. Then she hit me with the I was being judgemental and she could find another friend. I knew this was a lie because she is the kind of girl who no one wants to be her friend because she's tall, blond, beautiful, athletic, super stylish, and. well, hot. She's also smart and an amazing cook, but that's hard to know unless she cooks for you, which she did when I was sick (awwww), so that makes it hard to be her friend, because let's face it, who wants to be the ugly, frumpy friend. Fortunately, it's easy for me to be her friend because we are like carbon copies. We are so alike, I say we are sisters. So I knew no one else would want to run next to her, so I caved. I told her I would check with Kevin first to see if he would give me the okay to run on the Sabbath. Not only did he give me the okay (I was a little shocked, I must say), but THEN he sealed the deal for me by saying I could beat her. Nuff said! That's all I need to give me the motivation, a competition that I could win. A little background on the competition between Emily and I. We were in a Primary Presidency meeting once and it turned into a throwdown Jello competition. I KNEW I would beat her then because I had a lot of Jello experience. She didn't know that my mom gave me a box of Jello when Kevin and I got married because he loved it so much, and I would have won, if there hadn't been very sad circumstances that have postponed our competition (I will be triumphant). Soooooo, when the dear husband turned this into a competition, I started talking smack to her saying that she would be eating my dust and crying when I smoked her. She dropped a bomb on me then. She said this was a sisterhood event, not a competition. Imagine a very long pause. I felt like she had just sucked all of the wind out of my sails. Why the heck was I doing this now? I had to dig down waaaaaay deep and find my inspiration for an event like this. To be honest, it took me about ten seconds, because then I thought, well there is a pharmacist I work with who is running it. I don't have to tell her that I'm competing with her, but I will be. AND, just to show Emily that I can make a competition out of anything, I will have my children make cuter, bigger, better signs than her daughter. AND I will have a flashier outfit. AND I will raise more money than her for the Leukemia Foundation.

Rent a Kid, Anyone?

I am alone. Well, not really. Blake and I are here together, but I have found his conversation limiting. He pretends to call Kevin on the phone. Am I really that boring? I know I've been lounging around the house all day reading a book under the pretense of being ill, had my lunch brought to me by a rockin' friend, who happens to be my ONLY follower (c'mon Mom), read a fabulous book (The Help byKathryn Stockett-seriously great, and I take my book recommendations very seriously after being recommended The Lovely Bones. Don't you dare read it or see the movie. It is not life changing. It is the most depressing after life book ever. They made a movie out of this junk. Consider yourself warned), and was in my version of sweats ALL DAY. I didn't put on any makeup or do my hair. I must really be sick. Back to me being alone. Kevin asked for a stand in wife last weekend and I am now asking for stand in children. I need to drive someone somewhere, get after someone to do their homework/chores/violin, play a game with, or just have come up to me and ask if I need anything (my son is the best!). I will even take one of the Jeppson boys, as long as there are clear no touching boundaries. I have the whole weekend and many time slots available for your child/ children (except you, Myrissa, just one of yours at a time). Have fun, Partridge Children, with Grammy and Grampy. I will miss you more than you know.

No problem.

Our land line went down last Sunday. I enjoyed not having the phone ring, but it really bugged my friend, Myrissa, so after relentless harrassment from her to get it fixed, I emailed the phone company to let them know that we did not have a dial tone. A pleasantly large fellow came to our home to fix the troubles. It took him 3 minutes to get it fixed then pronounced it good ( I said that was too bad), he handed me his card, said his cell phone number was on there and told me to call him if I had any questions. I bid him farewell. He hadn't been gone longer than five minutes when I realized, I had a problem. I got his card and called his cell phone and he quickly answered the phone. I got right to the point. "I don't know what to make for dinner." Long pause. "Ma'am, when I said you could call me with any problems, I meant with the phone." "Oh," I said. Longer pause. "This is awkward. Well, thanks for stopping by." I really wish people would say what they mean. This would avoid confusing situations such as this.